


In the Middle of the Night, I May Watch You Go

by Lexigent



Category: Marvel 616
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-02
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 12:31:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexigent/pseuds/Lexigent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Theirs is a story of things left unspoken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Middle of the Night, I May Watch You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Something from between the pages of _Fear Itself 7.1_. Title from ["Lover of the Light" by Mumford & Sons.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYdzA2BMLOQ)
> 
> I really like the ending of the issue, in fact the whole issue gave me so many things I wanted. So this is a semi-alternate version of the last couple pages. It started out as just an expanded scene meant to fix some things, but I may have made it angstier than it is in the canon. Apologies for any emotional damage.

Theirs is a story of things left unspoken. Their affections live in sidelong glances, minute changes of body posture. A hand on a shoulder, a signal on the battlefield, and the unspoken knowledge that they would lay down their lives for each other.

They always thought they didn’t need words, and by the time they realise they do, it’s too late. By the time Bucky listens to Steve’s eulogy, he has already made his choice.

_"Just do me justice, and make sure that all the girls are cryin'."_

Of course, Steve does so much more than that, and of course, Bucky is listening. The speech shakes him to the bone. He knows it’s partly a performance, but he also knows Steve wasn’t wearing any masks when he wrote it, that all the words come from a place of grief for lost chances, from a desire to voice things that have been left unspoken for too long.

A place Bucky knows all too well. But duty will always trump love for men like them, and Steve knows that.

Still, Bucky’s grateful for the darkness that surrounds them when Steve finally sneaks out to meet him.

“Great speech, Cap,” he says.

It’s his automatic reaction to slip on the mask, to hide how much he's torn up inside. It’s not even intentional.

Steve says nothing, just steps forward to stand beside him. His hand rests on Bucky’s shoulder and Bucky wishes to God he would stop doing that because it’s really _not helping_ right now.

“Thanks. And you’re welcome.”

There’s something in the way the words seem to stick in his throat, or maybe the way he squeezes Bucky’s shoulder just then, that causes Bucky to think _to hell with all this_. He puts his own hand on Steve’s and decides to let the words out before he can change his mind, knowing he will regret them the second they’re out in the open.

“We’ve had more chances at this than anyone deserves,” he says. “If you had said any of that a year ago...”

Steve’s takes his hand off Bucky’s shoulder.

“You wouldn’t have believed it. And anyway it wasn't for your ears.”

_It was what I needed to say because I wouldn't have another chance._

Bucky doesn’t answer. Steve is right, as ever.

“Damn it, Steve. There's work I need to do.” Bucky runs a hand over his face. “There are things from the Winter Soldier days that I'm just remembering. Weapons left in the field. Dangers I can still prevent. I think maybe that's the path.”

_Path. Think. Maybe._

“A way to the redemption I've been looking for.”

He doesn't expect Steve to understand, so he's prepared for the reaction that follows. The one that Steve can do when he runs out of meaningful words to say.  
They turn to each other. Silence and darkness are their allies as they embrace for what may be the last time.

“Do what you have to do. And then come back in one piece.”

“Hey, Natasha’s got my back, remember? I’ll be alright.”

And just like that, the mask is back on, but this time it’s for Steve’s benefit. He can feel Steve’s eyes on him as he walks to his bike. 

The trick is to kick her into gear as quickly as possible, not to turn around, not to say another word. 

Theirs is a story of things left unsaid. Their affections live between the lines. A pat on the shoulder, a handshake in the darkness, and the unspoken faith that he will keep himself alive for Steve.


End file.
